It's Not You, It's Me

I will admit this to readers tonight: I came to Argentina with a very small, vain hope of finding my dream man. I wanted to find a handsome, dark Argentine man that had money, culture, a world-class education, and high aspirations. I dreamed that I’d marry this man and we’d split our time between the US and Argentina. To further encourage this dream was a couple at the Pacific Athletic Club where I worked in San Diego. Jean-Claude met his wife, Mrs. Jean-Claude, while she was studying abroad in France. Almost as if we were on the same man-hungry, female wavelength, Mrs. Jean-Claude said to me the first time I told her of my trip, “Ooh, can’t wait for you to bring home a beautiful Argentine husband!” I laughed and thought, “Trust me, I can’t wait either!”

Or did I say that out loud?

I have come to a disappointing and humbling conclusion about this prototypical Argentine dream man: he and I just don’t fit. In three+ months, I’ve done my best to determine why this is. Firstly, sense of humor is a cornerstone to a good friendship/relationship, a mode of communication. And if you were to judge me by my elementary Spanish, you’d probably presume that I have no sense of humor whatsoever. If I can’t make a boy laugh and I can’t decipher anything worth a laugh in his jokes delivered in rapid-fire Spanish, there’s no way we’d ever “hit it off” immediately. Secondly, I’ve realized that any Argentine man who shows an interest in you is most likely just trying to get into your pants because he’s heard that “norteamericanas” are easy. This idea scares and offends me. It makes me assume that they are not supposed to get serious with American girls, but instead are expected to settle down with other Argentine girls. Why are American girls not worth genuine attention? This question requires a complicated answer, complicated even more by the fact that I’m not totally sure of the answer. I have noted that women here are, to be blunt, frigid. They are not terribly friendly and they are very aware of Argentine propriety. I don’t really care about propriety. I am a messy eater in most settings, my legs aren’t always shaved, and I like to drink cheap beer. Most American guys would probably smile at these qualities and think “low-maintenance, a good thing.” Most Argentine guys would probably roll their eyes at these qualities and think, “I can’t take THAT home to meet my parents.”

You would think differences in land, lifestyle, and language would be interesting and exciting in a romantic relationship. But something just doesn’t click between Argentine boys and me. When it comes down to it, there seems to be a cultural gap that I just can’t bridge.

So I will most likely leave here with no love notes or promises. Sorry, Mrs. Jean-Claude. I guess I’m just too damned American.


Disclaimer: I speak for myself here. I think there can be exceptions. Melissa, I wish you the best.

Absentee Voting

I voted on Wednesday, October 8, at the US Embassy here in Buenos Aires. The Embassy offered a three hour window of one day to come and vote like a normal citizen, not a person living abroad who usually has to mail in his/her absentee ballot. I was astonished at the mass of people there! It was a decently organized event with snacks and red, white, and blue bunting, but I don’t think the organizers were expecting THIS many people to show up. I smiled looking around the long line that formed outside the heavily guarded gates: old folks, young students just like me, and other good ol’ Americans waiting to cast their votes.

I will make no political statements in this post, but the conversations I overheard revealed a clear favorite: Barack Obama. I wonder if this choice is characteristic of the college students that made up the majority of attendees that day or of the type of person that would willingly choose to move outside the US for a time. It is natural for a young college student to agree whole-heartedly with the tenets of the Democratic party: helping the middle and lower classes, redistribution of income, social liberalism, etc. But I’m also inclined to believe that anyone who would want to move outside the US can learn to assimilate into and empathize with the culture of another country. Having done so, this person might base his/her vote for president on a sort of “bird’s eye view” of the country, an outsider looking in. And what would an outsider want come January? I’m not sure, but after talking to Argentines, I gather that an outsider would want a fresh start after George W. Bush. Foreigners I’ve spoken to all say that they are tired of Bush for the mess he appears to have made in the Middle East, and his lack of intellectual poise as a head of state. A fresh start means a complete change in office; change the man and his party altogether. Obama seems like a breath of fresh air to many non-Americans. Could it be that American citizens living abroad have aligned themselves with this same sentiment?